7 Things We Need to Stop Believing, Yesterday

SO WE REALLY NEED TO TALK ABOUT SOME OF OUR CATCH PHRASES. 🤦🏻‍♀️

 let's start now.

I have never been the type to accept the status quo without challenging it first, and the same goes for trends or catch-phrases. If i gave myself more time to write this post, i'm sure the list of "things we need to stop believing" would hit double digits, so watch out for a vlog about this topic in the coming months.  anyway, i believe that the messages that are circulated whether in the mainstream media or in our day to day conversations have the ability to shape the way we think, whether we realize it or not. for this reason, i am in the constant habit of analyzing and evaluating the messages i hear to ensure they are socially responsible. i refuse to believe in anything that isn't contributing positively to my world or to society at large. what about you?

 
 me making sure that the things i believe are filled with love and empathy 🔎

me making sure that the things i believe are filled with love and empathy 🔎

 

here are 7 phrases that we need to stop believing in...yesterday:

1- Karma is a B^t*% 

OR ANYTHING ABOUT KARMA IN A SPITEFUL WAY

I think I cringe anytime I hear someone say "what goes around comes around" to someone who hurts them. I'm not saying that karma isn't real. I'm just saying that under no circumstances should we want bad things to happen to anyone. Even the serial killer or the child molester. I'm not saying justice shouldn't be served to people who do wrong, but why do we have to emit hatred or negativity out into the universe? Why not leave karma up to God? That person is going to learn their lesson with or without you wishing it upon them.

We cannot control whether or not someone who does wrong experiences redemption, but we can control how we show up in our lives. Instead of wasting my time and good energy wishing negative karma on someone else, I focus on being the positive, loving person that I am and embodying the world I want to live in. 

You wouldn't want to live in a spiteful, vengeful world, would you? 


2- Haters Gon' Hate

(OR ANYTHING AT ALL ABOUT HATERS)

I want to scream when i hear the word haters. What a horrible word. Who even came up with this word? The fact that we have a word for people whose full-time job is to spread hate is not only shitty, it's just not true. It lacks empathy and it's just downright an inaccurate narrative. People don't want to be hateful. Even if people are spreading hatred, there is always something behind that. Don't get me wrong; I no longer have any room in my life for people who cannot channel their most loving selves, but that doesn't mean I scoff or ridicule them. My heart genuinely hurts for people who haven't learned to drop everything and love. 

So, I don't talk about haters. Aside from it being immature, egotistical and insensitive, saying anything at all about "haters" perpetuates the same negativity i talk about with #1. I am in a phase where I want to assume the best of people. Some (including my old self) would argue that this stems from naivety, but actually, it's coming from maturity and an understanding that we can manifest a lot of what we want to see in the world.

Expressing scorn or lack of empathy towards so-called "haters" is a hateful act - so what would that make you?


3- I'm a Hopeless Romantic

This is an oxymoron. We could really just stop right there lol because being hopeless and romantic at the same time is actually impossible. Romance assumes hope - look it up if you don't believe me. But anyway, I'll entertain the idiomatic use of this dumb phrase "I'm a hopeless romantic." I don't like when we say this about ourselves or about others simply because it makes romantic people seem naive or pathetic.People who are romantic are not naive. They're not pathetic. They're not an object of ridicule.

And they are certainly not hopeless. They are amazing, strong, courageous and hopeful people. There are so many definitions of romantic, but my favorites are "readily demonstrating love" or "suggestive of an idealized view of reality." I am personally a realist, but I have been channeling idealistic thinking because I think it's a courageous act.

Can you imagine if we lived in a world filled with hopeful romantics who dare to dream? 


4- I'm Too Emotional

No you're not. There is no such thing as being too emotional. Emotions are strength and they need to be respected a lot more than they currently are. We also need to stop pinning "emotional" and "rational" on opposite ends of the binary. While being emotional and being rational can look very different depending on the situation, sometimes, reacting emotionally is the only rational thing to do. 

I am extremely emotional. I am also extremely emotionally expressive (hence the blog). If I thought I was too emotional, I wouldn't be able to touch and move people the way I do. I think more of us need to tap into our emotions and express them when we're comfortable doing so. I know that our world will be a better, more empathetic space if more people expressed their emotions and less people called others "too emotional."

Why would we discourage someone's authenticity?

 
 what did you say? I'm so emotional? why thank you. 💛

what did you say? I'm so emotional? why thank you. 💛

 

5- Don't Get Your Hopes Up

Do it! Get your hopes up! What is the worst that could happen? What is the value of expecting the worst? I used to always walk into situations with no expectations, but honestly, what fun was that? Sure, I wasn't surprised when things didn't work out, but secretly, my hopes were always a little up (so were yours, don't lie), and it wasn't fun to know I was scared to dream.

And so you dream and things don't work out. So what? On to the next dream. You deserve to dream and get what you want knowing that you were courageous enough to dream about what you knew you deserved. This goes along with being a hopeful romantic. Whether with relationships or opportunities, when you get your hopes up, you are putting out little revolutionary reminders of the reality that you deserve. Even in those times when what you thought you wanted didn't work out, at least you can rest easy knowing that you're clear on what you deserve. 

Give me one good reason WHY we SHOULDN'T DARE TO DREAM?


6- I came from nothing

You came from everything. I don't care who you are or what your circumstances were. If you are in a position to talk about them, if they have made you who you are, then you came from everything. The rose that emerged from concrete is still a beautiful, powerful rose, and we wouldn't be talking about it if it weren't for the concrete. wherever your roots are buried, take pride in them and honor them for making you who you are. 

My parents came from very humble beginnings. The same beginnings that I am constantly looking to learn more about. To me, they came from everything, because their character, resilience, values all come from the same humble beginnings that others may try to discount. I wish we would stop using this expression to talk about our situations, because it's simply not true. just because society puts a value on material things doesn't mean we should adopt those same values.

the most impactful people i know came from humble beginnings, how could they possibly have come from nothing?


7- Treat others how you want to be treated

Our elementary school teachers were setting us up to fail! Don't treat others how you want to be treated! That's a cop-out. Instead, take the time to learn about how they would like to be treated, and if it's within your means, do that. Assuming that others want to be treated the way we do is a very self-absorbed and non-empathetic way to handle our relationships with others. especially because, most times, others don't really want to be treated in the same ways we do.  

Earlier this year, I wrote about the 5 Love Languages and how they can help us be better lovers in our relationships with others. This test immediately taught me that treating others the way I want to be treated (or loved) would lead to them feeling less loved, because those closest to me have completely different love languages than I do! This is just one example of the ways that we can fall short if we don't opt for the more empathetic approach of meeting people where they're at.

why wouldn't you just treat others how they want to be treated?


ON BELIEF

i believe in positivity. in equity.

in god. in what's meant to be.

i believe in romance. in being hopeful.

in loving more. in empathy.

i believe in dreaming. in meeting people where they're at.

in celebrating my roots.

i believe in being emotionally expressive.

in wishing the best for others, regardless.

i believe in being the best version of myself. all the time.

in encouraging others to do the same.

i believe in embodying love.

in making others feel like they can show up that way too, 100% of the time.

in creating the world that i want to live in. 

what about you?

 

WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN?

let's make sure that what we say and what we believe are aligned, because as of right now, we could really use some work. 

only love,

ri

Rima FadlallahComment