DailyRi 003: Entitled to Nothing; Attached to Very Little; Grateful for it All

BY THE END OF LAST YEAR, THIS LINE BECAME MY MANTRA.

 
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DailyRi 003: Entitled to Nothing; Attached to Very Little; Grateful for it All

last year, i realized that i had found contentment at a relatively young age, during a relatively turbulent period in my life. i wondered why and how happiness remained constant while almost all other factors in my life were unstable. my answer?

LACK OF ENTITLEMENT & THEREFORE, OVERFLOWING GRATITUDE.

i’m grateful for everything. the highs, the lows, the unknowns, the tears, the tests. i’m grateful because deep down inside, i’ve always understood that this life owes me absolutely nothing. things don’t always go as planned, and at the end of the day, even the most seemingly personal interactions are never personal. nothing that ever happens will have emotional power over me because i’m not entitled to anything.

rooted in this peace of mind and gratitude is a level of humility, an understanding that i should be grateful for however things play out, because only god knows what he was protecting me from. sometimes we’re lucky enough to find out.

it sounds good, right? but it’s really hard to live a life free of entitlement when people make plans and promises, when life throws you those curveballs. i can honestly say i’ve been entitlement free for a while. i knew this was true when my father suddenly passed; not a moment went by where i was angry at god or the world or anyone else for that matter. i was and still am in deep grief, but never for a second did i feel like god owed me more time with Baba. i can simultaneously say that 24 years was not nearly enough time, while acknowledging that i am beyond grateful and lucky to have had that time with the kind of father i was blessed with.

life owes me nothing, but it sure gave me a whole lot. 

what i’ll be working on this year is reducing the amount of things, people, habits, mindsets that i’m attached to. in an ideal world, i would be completely unattached. i’m partially an idealist, so i haven’t given up on that dream. one day, i will be attached to absolutely nothing. 

 
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but this year, i want to focus on reducing the amount of attachments i have. i started this process last year by reevaluating the relationships i had to people. if i love someone, i want them in my life because of desire, not because of desperation or need. and vice versa. i don’t want to be needed by anybody in my life. i belong to me, and to god. and i want that truth reflected in all of my relationships. i was really attached to my dad, and it took serious work to recreate my own identity in his absence. i learned some valuable lessons from that experience, so as for my interpersonal relationships, i’m attached to nobody. 

i also started reducing materialistic attachments by giving away more of my clothes and material items every couple months. but some material items mean more to me than they should: the other day, as i was packing for my Dubai trip, i accidentally broke my long necklace with my dad’s name attached to a quran verse. i immediately choked up. before i could cry, i stopped myself right away and thought: “this necklace means so much to you, but it’s just a necklace.” i took it as a reminder that - no matter how sentimental it may be - material items don’t matter. i packed the lightest on this trip than ever before. 

BUT MY DEEPEST ATTACHMENTS ARE MENTAL ONES.

i realized i have a serious attachment to being understood. i am deeply uncomfortable when i feel misunderstood (which is a trap because i very seldom feel understood). i realized it’s rooted in an overarching attachment to others having a positive perception of me (another trap because i constantly assume people have pretty unfavorable thoughts about me). these attachments manifest themselves in some unhealthy behaviors like trying to control the narrative, constantly ruminating/not letting things go, and analysis paralysis. these mental attachments are what i’ll be releasing this year, and i feel pretty good about it.

grateful for this process, & for the self awareness required to be able to write about it.

only love,

ri


WHAt’s THIS Dailyri SERIES?

INTRODUCING THE DAILYRi SERIES.

Inspired by Gary Vaynerchuck’s DailyVees, DailyRi is my daily commitment to documenting my #roadtorima, in shorter form riflections, 1) because writing makes me happy, and 2) i’ve become obsessed with walking in my purpose & drafting a story that I can be proud of.

SO I’LL BE HERE EVERY DAY.