Love as an Action Verb: 50 Ways to Put Self-Love to Practice
"LOVE" CAN BE A NOUN; IT CAN ALSO BE A VERB.
(LET ME TELL YOU WHY I LIKE IT WAY BETTER AS A VERB)
when we discuss self-love strategies, we are using love as an action verb.
as i mentioned in last week's post "Love As An Action Verb: 50 Signs We Lack Self-Love," many of us cannot recognize self-love in practice. many of us can define it, discuss it, advise others on it, but many of us fall short of implementing self-love practices in our own lives.
As promised, this post will build on last week's lessons and actually offer 50 ways we can implement self-love strategies into our day to day lives.
(DISCLAIMER: IF YOU ARE YET TO READ 50 SIGNS WE LACK SELF-LOVE, I WOULD DEFINITELY START THERE BEFORE CONTINUING ON)
HERE ARE 50 WAYS TO PUT SELF-LOVE TO PRACTICE:
1- letting ourselves feel whatever it is we need to feel without judging ourselves or feeling obligated to explain/rationalize our emotions: tears should always be welcome
2- writing out how we feel in the notes section of our phones or in a journal; de-prioritizing clarity or coherency and prioritizing getting the thoughts and feelings out of our system
3- creating 5-7 affirmation cards, listing things we love about ourselves; hanging them somewhere where we can see them every day like our room or office
4- taking a day off and promising to enjoy every moment instead of judging ourselves for it; resisting the urge to think about any obligations during this day
5- setting our pride aside and confronting a situation or person that is adding stress or anxiety to our lives
6- releasing ourselves from a situation or person that is giving us anxiety or stress; not feeling the need to explain ourselves for letting go of what doesn't serve us
7- writing out specific, detailed promises or commitments to ourselves; sticking to them (watch this super inspiring video where will smith ties self discipline to self love)
8- saying no to commitments that we do not want to/cannot take on; refraining from giving explanations where they aren't necessary (part of self love is recognizing who is not entitled to an explanation; in these cases, we should only give explanations when we want to)
9- sharing our commitments with loyal friends who will love us through our change; making sure commitments are clearly documented so friends can hold us accountable
10- taking a long bath or shower and focusing on figuratively cleansing ourselves from any negativity or stress
11- loving our bodies (think longterm health over instant gratification); exercising, stretching, meditating; eating things that make us feel good
12- praying; talking to god...like out loud even when we feel vulnerable and weird for doing so; still doing it out loud; getting clear and specific about what we are praying for
13- committing to let go of any emotional dependencies on anyone or anything at all; self love is self reliant, and anyone in our space should be there because we want them, not because we need them to make us whole or happy
14- creating our own closure instead of depending on someone else for it; participating in three days of closure and loving ourselves through this process
15- writing ourselves a love letter as if the words are coming from someone whom we know loves us deeply and unconditionally and expects the most out of us
16- getting dressed up, getting out and treating ourselves to a nice evening alone or with people who make our heart happy
17- spending a day getting pampered; treating ourselves to a massage, manicure, pedicure, facial, etc.
18- letting our bodies rest when they are politely asking for it; not waiting until our bodies beg us for sleep or relaxation
19- keeping a gratitude journal to write in every day or adding a "things we're grateful for today" section in our calendar
20- getting a group of friends together for a vision board party; creating a visual representation of the life we want to create
21- cleanse tf out of everything: starting with our living spaces and extending all the way to who we follow on our social media platforms
22- cleanse our body by participating in a juice day, a fast or any other practice that flushes out our system
23- putting our foot down finally and demanding a happier life; committing to let go of the thing(s) we know are preventing us from creating our best life
24- doing something artsy and random; signing up for a film festival, painting class or dance session
25- investing in our personal/professional development; attending workshops or trainings in areas we're curious about
26- getting connected with a community near to our heart through service work or local events
27- unplug: going on social media or technology cleanses; unfollow any accounts that are not promoting positivity in our lives
28- self regulating negative self-talk or negative comments about the world we live in
29- counting to three before reacting when we feel upset, triggered or defensive
30- doing something every day that feeds our soul: podcasts on the way to work; guided meditations; daily journal; etc.
31- going all natural for a few days (or forever!): removing the makeup, letting our hair be natural
32- spend considerable time alone; planning out an entire day with ourselves
33- challenging ourselves to release any feelings of competitiveness, arrogance, resentment or judgment towards others
34- clearly defining what our "best self" looks like on any given day; challenging ourselves each day to do something different to push our potential
35- resisting temptation to be anything less than that day's version of our "best self"
36- netflix and chill (but like actually)
37- creating a day-by-day plan to tackle some things we've been putting off
38- scheduling doctor's appointments, dentist appointments, or anything else necessary for our health
39- committing to getting our hearts and minds on the same page in big life decisions
40- committing to forgiving ourselves for everything we are still judging ourselves for; committing to forgiving others, regardless (forgiveness is about self love, after all)
41- redecorating our living or work spaces to promote feelings of positivity and hope
42- taking on a hobby that excites us: sewing; passion planning; learning a new language
43- complimenting others whenever we see something we like; accepting compliments from others when they give them to us
44- getting clear on what our strengths are and how we can leverage them
45- committing to going gossip-free and only speaking when our words hold positive and necessary value
46- apologizing to those whom we have wronged or hurt; accepting apologies from others who have wronged or hurt us
47- adopting an unapologetic attitude in those situations where an apology is not the dignified thing to do
48- going on a getaway whenever possible; letting our minds get away right along with our bodies
49- making a list of all the things we yearn for in others; committing to give those same things to ourselves
50- deciding to love ourselves right now. not after we get the promotion, not after we lose 20 lbs, not after we are in a relationship with someone else, not after we break the addiction. self love is not a destination, it is a mindset, a process, a lens through which we view every single other relationship we find ourselves in. do it now, regardless.
SELF-LOVE NEEDS TO BE PUT TO ACTION.
Self-love looks different from situation to situation, from person to person. some of the examples above directly contradict one another, and that's because practicing self love requires a deep understanding of "self" - it all comes down to who we are as individuals, how a particular situation is making us feel, what we need in that very moment.
THERE IS NO SELF-love roadmap my love.
creating one starts with where it hurts.
think about all of those areas that are still painful. what memories trigger you? what people or things don't make you feel so good? what situations require that you be a dimmed-down version of yourself? what parts of your being are you most insecure about? what unhealthy dependencies are still active in your life?
be honest with yourself about these things, my love. as painful as it may be to recognize how deeply you are in need of love, identifying the wounds make you that much closer to healing from them.
LOVE YOURSELF RIGHT NOW - ACTIVELY AND CONSISTENTLY - SOON ENOUGH, ANYTHING THAT ISN'T SERVING YOU WILL NATURALLY SLIP AWAY.